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This age thing

May 7th, 2014

You hear it from the time you are little. Appreciate your years because one day you will be “old” and it’s all gone. The good thing about youth is that you don’t believe it because if you did you would never be responsible and “grow up”. You’d just play knowing that one day you wouldn’t be able to so might as well make the best of it and hope that when you’re “old” someone younger will be around to take care of you.

It seems that the minute I turned 50 things began to fall apart (health wise). I didn’t really think I’d changed much in my lifestyle, so HOW did my body just decide to give up? Well, when looking BACK I can see that my stress eating didn’t really help matters. Of course, neither did the stress that was causing the eating. So now, I get to deal with those matters and need to take off those pesky pounds, which then the doc assures me, would take care of a lot of the difficulties that have sprung up.

Sure, doc…easy for you to say. However, you are just causing me to reach for the chocolate again!

Hard to get back in the habit

May 6th, 2014

Life just seems so busy and….well….my husband bought me an e-reader so I can’t stop reading books again! He probably regrets buying it because he has to say my name a couple of times to get my attention. I had forgotten how much I like to read. Of course, my housework is suffering greatly.

My daughter has returned to her first career and is loving it. She is having MANY MANY less migraines, even tho working more hours it would seem. So I think she made a good decision.

Work related

April 2nd, 2014

Our evaluations were completed and I finally got the “goes above and beyond” which I haven’t been able to get with this supervisor since he took over from the previous one. I’m very happy because, until this one, I’ve always gotten that type of review. But with this guy I was always just “average”. Hopefully we’ll continue one with the above average from now on.

And it’s hitting hard….

March 16th, 2014

Family. You love them, but sometimes… You think you might have done a good job with your kids and then… You want to blame them and say they are on their own and then you look at heredity and genetics and you think….yeah.

I really can’t put it all in print as it’s just way too personal, but it sure does hurt. Hopefully it will all turn out all right. Prayers are necessary.

My husband gets very upset with me because I like to push everything away and just believe it will work out and try to not obsess over it, but look for solutions and if none are found that are to your liking you just have to deal with it. And, most of the time, I’m successful at this. He, and others, think that’s abnormal, but that was the way I turned out due to circumstances of my youth. I had to deal with a lot at such a young age that I think, as a survivor, that is what I have to do. In turn, it makes it hard for me to understand those that have it eat away at them and wail and cry. We are definite opposites. But we’ve been together 32 years and I believe we will continue. But we do have different ways of handling things and and what to do to help so we are butting heads just a tad on the issue.

Time does heal…thank God.

Wanting to be here more, but…

February 10th, 2014

I just get caught up in everything else I’m doing and just don’t get here to post. I’m really enjoying having a granddaughter. So much fun. But family life is difficult right now it seems. I think that happens with age and, thru the bliss of youth you don’t recognize it in those around you. Then, as you age, and life gets harder it smacks you in the face sometimes. But, to stay positive is key and I’m really trying that out.

So what’s brought me back?

January 8th, 2014

Stress. I’m thinking that has to be it given that I’ve gained about 15 pounds over this past year, given up exercise (tho I did start that back recently) and the doc says I may need to go on BP meds (we’ll figure that out next month after I’ve been tracking it daily) and I’m old enough for the dreaded colonoscopy and she’s scheduling it.

Yep. Stress. I’ve been missing in action due to FB and a found returned love of reading books. Well there goes the fire alarm in the building. Guess it’s time to end this.

Wow…been awhile.

August 22nd, 2013

It has been awhile. Why? I’m not completely sure. In personal areas of my life I’m good. In professional, I’m ok…I’m working on it. I think a lot of the reason is that I’ve started reading books again and found that I had really missed it. Online books make it so easy (and cheap) that I just haven’t stopped reading. My husband gets a bit peeved because I really do just get into them and don’t hear him when he’ll talk to me and he has to say something twice. So I need to work on that. Before that I learned to crochet and have enjoyed that. We also got a different 3 wheel motorcycle and we’re enjoying that immensely. In fact so much that my house is in dire need of cleaning, but between rides, books and crochet I just don’t seem to mind the dust.

I have missed the people I’ve found thru here and, thankfully, some I connect with on FB so that’s enjoyable. But I need to catch up with other folks too. Funny how we think of each other as friends tho most we’ve never met.

My granddaughter is BEYOND adorable. She is almost 3 and we’re so blessed to have her around. She’s a handful, terribly independent, but that just makes me love her more. My daughter and her husband seem happy. My daughter has a few health problems but hopefully those will work out. My mom is still declining and we make and effort to see her at least a couple of times a month. I know that I’ve shut down a part of my brain so that I can accept her decline. That’s very much my nature and what I learned at a young age about death. But she’s in pain, emotionally and physically, so I hate that for her. It must be so difficult to not be able to do what you want to do anymore and to know that, in not such a short time, you will be gone.

I still love my husband, although he’s still a stubborn fool at times. I’ve tried to reason with him over his family issues, but he’s too stubborn (and prideful) to see where I’m coming from, so he will have to figure it all out for himself. I hope it works out in a good way for him.

Time is flying

February 19th, 2013

Why is it I only get on her to say how fast time is going and that I’m really busy? It’s true, but also sad that is all I can find to say. I really like my job, but all the weekend work is just getting harder. I still enjoy it, but I worry that I’m missing out on things.

My mom’s health is really in decline. I can see it and I think it will just move faster. We’ve known it’s coming but it puts your own life in perspective. I always thought she worked way too hard and now I wonder if I’m not doing the same thing. But then what can you do? A person has to be able to pay their bills….

January is almost over

January 25th, 2013

I can’t believe how fast January has flown. I’m actually feeling better and I hope it continues. Who knew hormone replacement therapy could be so effective! It has helped my attitude immensely. Work is still work and not as good as I would like, but I’m busy and that gives me hope I’ll keep employed. And I’m thankful to have work. The recession has been as bad here as in other places, but I can still see it with some friends that have lost jobs and I’m trying my best to not have that happen.

I’ve started actually reading books again (digitally) and it’s consuming me. I forgot how much I love to read and I have to make myself stop and do something else.

But what I wanted to say is that life feels good right now. I’m happy.

Almost back to the grind.

January 4th, 2013

I’ve had a lovely holiday break which would have been better if I hadn’t had a virus for the past 2 weeks. But I’m glad it’s going away even if I do have to go to work next week. Work! I’m going back to some difficulties that have to be solved so I’m not looking forward to THAT. But work is always like that so I should be used to be for sure.

I did enjoy seeing my granddaughter some over the break. She’s so cute, but so typical a 2 year old. We’ve been so blessed that she arrived in our lives. I need to post a photo soon as she’s just gorgeous (or I could be biased).